My last blog...

Today went 2 sch, saw Xing n he was askin' abt me. I replied not 2 gd... lotsa things happened n also busy with rehearsal lately.

Tomorrow is my 3rd rehearsal. I've been practising very hard these days so i reckon shouldn't be a problem, Chris (the program manager) was nice to me too last week. Sharon is picking me up tomorrow.... so sweet of her. Sharon, 22, nus grad, getting prettier tomorrow... anyone interested? Haha... :)

I think i won't be blogging anymore, or at least for quite a while. Very tired n moody lately. And I fell into the drain last weekend, wondering wat i was dreaming abt...hahaaa. I'll be goin' back Aust after CNY. I'll take gd care of myself i promise. Yr guys take care 2, be gd! Wanna attach these phases fr this song which i'll be performing.

我想你表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
牵着你陪着我也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

CY fallin' in luv

Cldn't get anymore ticket, so i invited CY to my place n i performed it jus 4 him yesterday. He gave a "Wow" drooling response after my performance... he said "I m seriously fallin' in luv wif ya"... hahaa. Daniel n Jaslyn wanted 2 come too... oh nooo... :P Went 4 sushi, n then satay at the beach resort near my hse... gd day! :)

2nd rehearsal...thanks Chris

Today I was almost late 4 the rehearsal but Sharon picked me up, thanks. I was really bewildered when the program manager Chris announced 2 everyone tat the tickets haf all been sold out. I still shortage of 2 for Xue n CY... where can i get more tickets? :(

Today we haf quite some changes, i've 2 songs "Wei Yi" and "An Jing". Huanghuan (the violin performer) she will team with me playing the violin 4 Wei Yi while i sing n piano. N now my sequence has been changed too, i'll not be performing the 2 songs at one go, haf been divided into two. Wei Yi at the later... almost at the end. Chris said i was gd today... he said he hopes i can perform for other events too... he took my mobile nos. He had mistaken Sharon as my gf. Then i explained n he said "Not yr gf? I saw her like in tears when ya were performing"...hahhaaaa. Hahahaa....maybe my singing was too horrible. :P I like the lyrics An Jing. :( Jus now i kept lookin' down the stage... hallucinating Cherry was there. I rem i told her i wanted to play this song for her... but jus no chance. I rem she even sang this song 2 me once. Flyin' 2 Aust after CNY. :)

Sorry Sharon

Sharon was angry wif me on the phone jus now bcos i went drinkin' again, with CY. She said "I m workin' hard on yr singing n ya r here damaging yr voice wif alcohol again n again". Sorry Sharon but i really need a break. Tmr is the 2nd rehearsal n trust me i can do it. CY asked me y i dun get a new gf... n he's another one having bad comment abt her n consoling me not to be upset on *****. I told him i can't luv or change someone easily, its not like changing clothes. I think i did not really like Cherry either. I still wan her to be happy n i know she is, n enjoying herself with him. I know he can take gd care of her so i m not worried anymore.

My sch work is fine too, my Prof jus complimented me on Tue 4 my gd work... n recently not tat busy, the next conf paper due is on April. Now i m more worried abt the rehearsal thing, the sissy program manager liked to pick on my chn. This morning msg Desmond to ask him abt some chinese words tat i didn't understand. Thank everyone who is helping me. Again sorry Sharon, n if ya r not free dun haf 2 come over tmr morning. Drive carefully!!!

是否一颗星星变了心，从前的原望也全都被抛弃

This morning Sharon came 2 my place for chn class. Her Eng n Chn both got A for high sch... she volunteered 2 help me. I like this phase in the lyrics "是否一颗星星变了心，从前的原望也全都被抛弃。最近我无法呼吸，连自己的影子都想逃避". Sharon commented the piano part i was fine, singing my voice, speed, etc. were ok too, jus tat my pronouncation needed to improve. Booked an air ticket to Sydney.

1st day of rehearsal...fun!!!

At 4pm met up my fyp students 2 discuss their projects. Took too much time n it ended at 6pm+... my rehearsal at 7.30 n i gotta take my dinner too... so rush.

The rehearsal was fun, the program manager was alittle sissy.... hahahaa. :P I doubt he's straight. I cldn't stop laughin' when he said this "Jimmy.... slower". Haha... no, he pronounced the slower as "sloooooooweeerrr". :P N he exclaimed "Your chinese cannot make it lah ya this banana"... hahhaa. :P:P The other performers did really well, one with this chn instrument Er Hu... but come on, they r pro. I m the only one not pro, i m a student, not musician!!! Can't rem the chn lyrics... he told me jus sing one song, the rest jus play n dun sing bcos i may mix those lyrics up. Nvm this is only the 1st rehearsal, still got 5 more. I'll work hard.

Vulnerable love

Went out with Dan to drink till 3am. Was alittle disappointed n wat upset me most was tat she betrayed me, n jus found someone to replace me in less than a week or so while i was busy, without feelin' anything at all. Isn't tat amazin'? I wondered how vulnerable luv can be. I dun blame her, we r still friends. I m at fault too, was too busy wif paper (ICIP conf paper) n neglected her for a week. I think i dun really like her too anyway, she's not suitable for me.

Dan said "I told ya abt her long ago, ya didn't listen. Now ya can believe me n conclude tat she's those china gal".

Xue said "She's not worth, so cheap. I warned ya abt chinese gal, ya didn't listen."

Sharon said some vulgarity...."*censored* bitch, ya r lucky she left ya early. Come on ya r goin' 2 be a professor soon, dun get moody bcos of tat bitch, ya should continue to work hard on yr studies."

I feel alittle upset n tats apparent, i m human... i've feeling. Been with her for quite awhile... but i m still happy for her... cheers! :) Got a performance tat i m playing some songs, n one of these songs i learned it for her... thought she cld be there but she said no yesterday. During the rehearsal the planner said i cld even sing if i wan. But must go through quite a few rehearsals as usual, its not a trival event... must be well prepared. Thanks God there'll be someone to help me with the chinese words including pronouncation.

She found a new bf in a week...gd 4 her n me! :)

She found a new bf. I feel alittle disappointed... dun feel like doin' anythin' today, but on the other hand happy for her. I wan her to be happy too n now she is. It was my fault for neglecting her for a week... or maybe we didn't even like each other. Its fast... she found one in a week. :) Whoever ya r, be gd 2 her k? I think we dun suit each other too... its gd to end this way. :) I still treat her as a friend but i doubt she treats me as one too, she deleted all my contacts (msn, friendster, etc.). See how one can change so fast! Luv is really sooo... meaningless. I believe i'll find the right gal one day... one tat i really like. Gd day mate!! :P

rAinY sat

Today went to sch... for no reason, jus walked ard in sch. Went Canteen 2, Nanyang house, then to the pond at hall 6, n lastly hall 8/9... n it started raining. Jus wanna take a little break 2 observe the things ard me before i get busy again.

Though i'm quite depressed lately as many things happened, i should stand up again. I still have ppl ard who care abt me. Mum told me she wanna give me another credit card fr citibank, but i said no. I was so touched... she worried tat i haf not enough $$ to survive. I m old enough 2 spend my own $$... though i m very poor. And watever cards are not impt 2 me. I jus need one SMRT card for travel to sch everyday. Jus like wat Xue said, i've changed alot. i dun take cab to anywhere anymore. I eat hawker centres, foodcourts, fastfoods n canteens now. I even eat ice-cream, ice-kachang, roti-prata, chicken rice, satays, fried noodles.... watever ya cld name. Ever thought of starting a family, gettin' married with her end of this year, hmmm.... not anymore.

My sista came home with a dozen of flowers... very beautiful ones. She gave it to me and said "I bought it for ya, to pacify yr gf, very expensive... dun throw it away!!". I was overwhelmed... n i doubt where she got the flowers... did she really buy tat for me? Or some guys gave it to her?? Anyway i dun haf a gf... haha. Can i gif it to my gd friend instead? :) Thank ya alot Sista, dun worry abt me. I m wonderin' how is Cherry's toothache now. Hope she is better. :)

Gd day..n she has found someone else. :)

Today is the due date of the conf paper, haf submitted. Slept alot today... finally. Went for haircut in the afternoon, n shoppin' with parents after. Finally cld spend alittle time with my family, really busy lately, didn't sleep much too. Jus wanna take a day break n do smthing for the ppl around me.

Read her blog, glad tat she has found someone more suitable for her n she's happy now. As usual, nothin' mentioned abt me in her blog... jus kiddin' i dun care. Maybe she doesn't rem much abt me. Anyway, jus happy tat she is happy now. :) The rest is not impt anymore. Jus hope the dentist is a reliable one, for her wisdom tooth.

Song's birthday today. We got a cake n alittle chat in the evening. Gd day!

ICIP conf paper due today

Met sup lately n been changin' n changin' on the paper, esp the equations tat he wasn't satisfied on. But he got his point, its gettin' much better now. Didn't really sleep lately, writin' the paper, missin' her. Received a sms the day b4 yesterday, i was so jolly... but it was fr Ling instead, askin' if i wld be free n hangout with her. I replied no... really haf no mood to go anywhere. Pat called yesterday, a friend of her (fr china) coming to Singapore for CNY piano performance, at DTE and one of the ball dinner. I m invited to the dinner, n Pat is plannin' me to perform too, jus for 1 or 2 songs. She said "Jus a casual dinner, its ok to make mistake". Wat she means? :( Haha...!!! But really no time to practise, I rem Alex asked me to play for him too during his wedding... he wanna save $$. Goin' for haircut today, booked an appointment.

安静的夜晚

忙了几天，终于把paper给写完了。在这也不到半年就以写了两张paper, 朋友们都很envy我。可是没人知道我有多么的不好受。母亲还在生我气，女友也不理我了，自己也病的不轻。朋友Desmond见到我一至在吃药，也叫我好好保重。我希望她能找回她真正爱的人，也希望他会比我还要爱你。我真的愿意做那个祝福你们的人。我也不会再烦你了。Xue打电话给我，她说"If ya really luv her, ya should set her free." Sharon在msn也说她说的很对。我会永远记得你那凶巴巴的样子，和那个吃apple pie的cheeky样子的。你要好好保重。

回到了家，还有我的钢琴陪我度过了这寂寞的晚上。弹的这首安静，我终于明白它的意思了。真的好累，还没读明天的lecture notes呢。我的华语越来越好了，朋友也这么说，你说是吗？

Sorry for those friends tat can’t read Chinese…in fact most of my friends can’t read Chinese...pardon me. Jus wanna polish up my Chinese alittle. Take care everyone!

Finished with ICIP conf paper...hooray!!

Jus finished my ICIP conf paper in 5 mins ago....finaaaalllyyy!! Its not only abt writing, still gotta write codings n generate results to put in paper...tough!!! Got a demo to undergrads n postgrads at 4pm. Gotta prepare now...

Jesse gettin' married...wow wow

One of my best friends Jesse (fr America, Seattle) is plannin' to get married.... wow. I m soooo... happy for him. I wish to get married too, with someone who really likes me. We always talked abt gals back in Aust. He read my blog too.... he exclaimed "Ya know chinese gal, rem my ex PJ?" Yeah i rem he had serious problem with his ex PJ, a chinese gal. He invited me n Cherry to his wedding. His current gf is a Japanese n they r both in Tokyo. Hadn't chatted with him for ages, we chatted for awhile jus now... we miss those days... we went gym, jog, yoga, bbq, beach, sauna, buffetsssss..., hiking, etc etc..!!! WHY am i soooo STRESSED now in Singapore??? :(

Rushin' for paper

Woke up really early, rushin' for my paper. Gotta show Sup tomorrow. Xue called me jus now 2 ask if i've recovered fr my flu n fever. Thanks Xue. While takin' break, I clicked on Cherry's blog... readin' her previous blog's entries... mentioned abt him so often, tat was so sweet of her.... she wrote alot abt her ex... can see how much she luv him, envy him so much. I wish to find someone i really like too, tat i wanna spend my life with.... she has not existed yet. :)



Back 2 work, hope everyone will find the one she/he luv n enjoy yr Valentines day. :) Cherish wat ya haf!!

bad day!!

Sista is back Singapore, glad 2 see her but hardly haf a chance 2 chat with her yet. Reached hm at 12am+ last nite after visiting Miss Cherry till 10. She was sick... n also i got her an apple pie. Had a minor argument with my mum this morning. I was askin' if i cld be released earlier during Chinese new yr, like 1pm... not visiting the rest of our relatives n friends. She questioned "I thought ya always wanna visit them when ya were in Aust?? Its jus an once a yr event... how cld ya.... etc etc...". On the other hand, Miss Cherry asserted "Last time i also met up with my ex durin chn new yr.... wasn't with family.... etc". I dunno wat to do, really vexed!!!!

Spent the entire day doing my work, ICIP conf paper due in less than a week. Mon gotta show to sup, n Tue got another demo 2 some undergrad, postgrad students n sup. Miss Cherry wasn't happy tat i cldn't accompany her today. She exclaimed "I feel like i m not having a bf, can't even acc me during the weekend...., my ex acc me no matter how busy he was... etc". I was really hurt, n i really dunno wat to do. I proposed meeting her for dinner or meeting her tomorrow at her hostel to do my work... but she didn't like tat idea, she wanna do wat she wan. I like to go holiday, go movies, go shoppings, skating, cycling, swimming, .... too. But i gotta be rational, i need to work hard too, i dun wish to be dismissed fr sch next Sem. Why can't she be more understanding!?! :( I know i m not as gd as her ex, and she doesn't like me as much as him too. I'll be replaced one day as wat Xue had warned me abt. Did she ever get me an apple pie jus 4 me? Did she ever write abt me in her blog? Did she ever drop me a get well msg when i was sick, or acc/visit me?? Did she ever think of comin' nearby my hse 2 meet me for a while when i was busy??? She jus care abt herself!!

Last day of MMM conf

Today reached sch at 8.40... finished at 3pm.... needed to help out in loading n unloading all the items. This gal in the pic was one of the presenters, fr Tsinghua Uni, Beijing China, doing her phd. We were the AV helpers so gotta help her set up everything. Quite a number of guys wanna know her, one of the prettiest in the conf... haha. My this friend besides her got her email... silly. :)



Feelin' sleepy...still got class this evening till 9.30. :(

SiCk !!!

Sick since yesterday... comes with flu, a little fever, sore throat... feelin' terrible. Didn't haf enough sleep lately, slept at around 1am n woke up at 5am, bcos of the conf at ntu which i m helpin' up. I reached Orchard Parade hotel at 7am today, to pick up the conf guests. Then usually at nite still gotta go for classes till 9.30pm. Yesterday brought an apple pie to Cherry's hostel for her which i promised... see how crappy she looked...!!! :)


This morning n afternoon i was soo sick n sleepy... didn't even wanna go lunch. Nothin' i cld do but slept in the lab.... n apparently cldn't really sleep well in tat environment. I felt so pathetic out of sudden... feelin' soooo forlorn. Thanks Xue for callin' me.

Conference at NEC


Today we got a cruise dinner, kinda farewell dinner for the guests. Enjoyed it but i was not feeling well, didn't eat tat much.

Sad day

Cherry is in our sch's newspaper today... Title "NTU dancers get into the groove of a winning beat". Cldn't recognise her... but i cld recognise her costume. :) Met her for lunch n dinner.

Haf problem implementing Bayesian network... asked two of my best friends in lab. Didn't expect Wing to utter "If i tell ya how to add the nodes, then it'll be meaningless for ya to do.... ya wan me to write the code for ya? Huangyi also seems like she wans me to write the code for her". I felt it was brutal n harsh fr these ironic words. Wat hurts me most is this coming fr one of my best friends. Was really upset.

Tmr is the MMM conf. Gonna wake up at 5.00... must reach uni at 8.... turnin' in soon.

last day of sch holiday

Last nite i slept at 3am+, workin' on the conf paper. Didn't see her online the whole nite... so i msged her wonderin' wat she was busy with... she knew i was back hm etc. I woke up around 9 today, not sure if i should go to uni as i was tired n i cld do it at hm... not necessary need 2 go sch. But i still wanna go as i got work to do. Not long after, i received a furious sms fr her... "YA THINK I M YR MAID, SHOULD I WAIT N STANDBY FOR YA EVERYTIME... I CAN'T DO MY OWN THINGS?....etc etc." I didn't know my one unmalicious msg last nite cld incur this, i m sorry. The unruly n sassy her jus reminds me of the chinese lady at the dinner buffet yesterday. I really feel very disappointed... :( I think lotsa Chineses (as fr China) are like this. :P

Steamboat's day

Had quick family dinner, then went to join my uni's friends for steamboat's buffet at Kallang. Really enjoyed it alot with them. They r all my favorite people in lab (Huangyi, Wing, Desmond, Jiaming, Ziming). After dinner, we walked around the red light districts in Singapore... we were blown away by those gals.... we all agree tat many of them were so pretty n in gd shape.... wat a pity! Financial woes could hamper one fr livin' the life they wan... i believe many of them haf no choice, at wit's end.

Long day...

Today reached uni at 8.20am. MMM conference's briefing started at 9 at NEC. This year this international conference is held at NTU and i m one of the event's helpers. Next week is the actual event n i gotta help up in usher, AV assistant, hotel guide (7.15 at Orchard Parade hotel) etc etc...plunging through the busy days! This is the t-shirt we'll all be wearing. The briefing ended around 12 noon.

Desmond bought me some biscuits from Hongkong n Yi bought me a cute little comb fr Shanghai. We were eating n chatting happily in the lab. I wanna ask Cherry to join us but i called her twice n she didn't pick up my calls. She msged me later she was watching tv. I thought she was busy maybe with her Arcade friends or so, bcos i msged her again tat i had finished with my briefing etc... n there wasn't any reply. She uttered tat she thought i was busy. Wondering why she hardly call or msg me. :( ...i really dunno when she wld be free. Caught Yi sleeping in the lab...with a piggy besides her. Does it look like her? :)








Met up with a friend later after i left uni, catching up... reached home at 1.20am. Tiring... goin' 2 bed now.

IMPT: ICIP PAPER DUE VERY SOON... GOTTA SLAP MYSELF N FINISHES IT!!!!!

Thur 4/1/2007

Today saw my ex-gf's pic (the one in pink), we r still gd friends now. Chatted with her 2 weeks ago, she's coming back from US this week she mentioned... if i rem correctly. Congrat she won the Miss Singapore international last year. Ha...she said she did still read my blog...hope i didn't bore ya wif my mushy words... haha. :) Yeah hangout with ya one day... enjoy yrself.

Today supposed to go help Sharon, but msged her last nite i cldn't make it, got smthing on. Sorry Sharon. I tried 2 contact David 2 help ya but his phone was engaged, pardon me. Yeah rushin' for paper lately... due in 2 weeks time. Tats an international conf in NTU comin' up, gotta help up too... quite a massive event, lotsa ppl fr oversea. Sch starts next week... work hard everyone. :)

Gd day!

Today Yi is back to lab, really jolly to see her n Wing again. Tomorrow Desmond will be back too n the four of us will be united :) Had lunch with Cherry, dinner with Yi n Wing, Gd day!

Anna msg me jus now, showed me her slumber party's pics
http://community.webshots.com/album/556737140snmUqE, really cool. I realised i didn't say bye b4 i logout n she was still askin' if i was ard.... sorry. :) Sharon msged me n asked if i cld help her look at (fix) her computer tomorrow at her place. She said she can cook lunch or dinner for me too... hehe, so nice of her. Hmm.... why everyone can cook besides me?!? :( So sleepy now...

Does she miss me? Haha

Today since i woke up, i wanted to msg her, but i didn't. I wonder if she ever did miss me alittle. She gave this keychain 2 me durin' xmas. I hope she is doin' fine now. I m alittle bored but i think i m happy even without her... dun really haf the feelin' for her... think this is not luv. Nvm i'll try n see.

Today gonna go sch, haf some work 2 do. Jus dun feel like goin'... used to rot at home now. :(

Another angry woman

Jus now my Xuehui msged me in msn 'happy new yr' n we chatted. Had not chatted with her for quite awhile. I told her i was moody abt my relationship tat happened yesterday. She was angry too, she wrote "Can't believe ya got me replaced so easily...n i've not...etc etc...!" I was bewildered.... "Wat? We broke up like 1.5-2 yrs ago!!" I dunno wat happened, seems like everyone angry with me lately, my luck is down. :( Sharon... i m sorry i didn't go to yr place yesterday bcos i wasn't feeling well. Doris sorry.... i didn't meet ya up for lunch today bcos i was rotting at home in case ya got angry 2. I read Cherry's blog n she claimed tat i gave up my own happiness. Why wld someone be so stupid? I jus feel tat this happiness doesn't belong to me... hahahaa. I reckon i dun like her too... i'll find someone i really like one day. I do miss her alittle, but i think as a friend only... she's not the one for me.